Dad (spooning mushroom salad onto his plate): Some good protein here.

Me (enthusiastically): Yep, and vitamin B12 and iron!

Dad: Yeah but gimme a steak any day, so much better.

Me: Not so sure the cow would agree with that.

Mum: Well, cows have a pretty boring existence, just standing around all day. You may as well eat them.

Me (eyes literally popping out of my head): They only have that ‘boring existence’ because we breed them into it so you can eat them!!!

Mum (more shocked at my outburst than the content of my comment): Well!!

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